Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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