and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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