If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
vagina is talking i cant
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
