god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
