Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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