Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
