Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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