just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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