then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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