Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
