I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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