i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
