Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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