omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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