She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize