cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
