we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Randomize