I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
