I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
