I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I just had sex on a roof
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
