eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
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