I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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