Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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