One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
