In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
