It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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