How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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