So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
