What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
