good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
