why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
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