there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
