I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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