Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
