I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Randomize