I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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