"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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