Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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