Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
