Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
