did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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