Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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