Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
