You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
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She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
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My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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