i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
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I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
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do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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