Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I party with great urgency now.
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