You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Shame is for Republicans.
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