so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
