i was rollin on her like bob the builder
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
