Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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