Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I stole a fireplace last night.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
