She said her name was "party"
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
