apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
