You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
this hospital has no fireball
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize