i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize