Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
